Bound for Argo --- ©2006 Mark a Mandel / ttto: “Banned From Argo”
When
[A]we
put into Argo Port to [D]sell
our load of [A]goods
We heard that it was one of
space’s [B7]tougher
neighbour-[E7]hoods.
We
[A]had
some trepidation that we’d [D]meet
hostili-[A]ty
But found them more than
[D]welcoming
to [E]merchants
such as [A]we.
[chorus] And we’re [D]bound
for Argo once a-[A]gain
[D]They
rate eleven, on a [A]scale
of one-to-[E]ten.
We
[A]sold
them all we [D]had
and could have [A]sold
them ten times [D]more.
I
[A]only
wish that [E]we’d
gone there be-[A]fore.
We’ve
[A]aphrodisiacs
for every [D]species
you will [A]meet.
The greenish stuff has
Vulcans going [B7]at
it in the [E7]street.
For
[A]Klingons
it depends on if it’s [D]for
a boy or [A]girl;
For him it’s books of
[D]poetry,
for [E]her
it’s rocks to [A]hurl.
A
[A]gang
of Klingons stomped out of a [D]tavern
mad as [A]Hell.
They seemed to be unhappy
with the [B7]drinks
and clien-[E7]tele.
The
[A]customers
were weird, they said; the [D]liquor
weak and [A]pale.
They gladly paid us
[D]full
price for our [E]307
[A]Ale.
The
[A]bars
bought out our other stock of [D]every
kind of [A]booze.
For theirs had all gone
down the throats of [B7]thirsty
starship [E7]crews.
Our
[A]medicines
flew out the door at [D]slightly
less than [A]C.
For hangovers and
[D]headaches,
and [E]hickeys
and V[A]D.
Our [A]roving
fix-it personnel were [D]busier
than [A]ants,
The cops broke up an orgy –
then [B7]we
sewed up the [E7]pants.
Some
[A]moron
parked a shuttlecraft on [D]top
of City [A]Hall.
They paid us well to
[D]get
it down be-[E]fore
the roof could [A]fall.
The
[A]planetwide
communication [D]network
had been [A]screwed
So all incoming callers
were ap-[B7]pearing
in the [E7]nude.
Our
[A]software
team went through the system [D]with
a fine-tooth [A]comb
And soon we’ll have a
[D]version
you can [E]buy
to use at [A]home!
They
[A]cleaned
us out of dictionaries, [D]tourist
books and [A]such;
Like how to swear in
Vulcan, Standard, [B7]Romulan,
and [E7]Dutch.
The
[A]Governor’s
request was strange, con-[D]sidered
as a [A]whole,
For books on marriage
[D]counseling,
and [E]plant
and crowd con-[A]trol.
We
[A]just
found out that Argo’s put that [D]starship
under [A]ban.
You might think that upsets
us but it [B7]doesn’t
change our [E7]plan.
As
[A]long
as spacers come to town to [D]play
and drink and [A]bleed
We’ll sell them what they
[D]want
– and then we’ll [E]sell
them what they [A]need!
And we’re [D]bound
for Argo once a-[A]gain
[D]They
rate eleven, on a [A]scale
of one-to-[E]ten.
We
[A]sold
them all we [D]had
and could have [A]sold
them ten times [D]more.
I
[A]only
wish that [E]we’d
gone there be-[A]fore.