The Philosophers Song --- Monty Python
(a capella)
Immanuel Kant was a real
pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a
boozy beggar
Who could drink you under
the table.
David Hume could
out-consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel.
And Wittgenstein was a
beery swine
Who was just as sloshed as
Schlegel.
There’s nothing Nietzsche
couldn’t teach ya
‘Bout the raisin’ of the
wrist.
Socrates himself was
permanently pissed.
John Stuart Mill, of his
own free will,
With half a pint of shandy
got particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could
stick it away,
Half a crate of whiskey
every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a
bugger for the bottle,
Hobbes was fond of his
dram.
And René Descartes was a drunken fart:
“I drink, therefore I am.”
Yes, Socrates himself is
particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker but
a bugger when he’s pissed!