The Murderous Toy --- Mike Roberts
ttto The Marvelous Toy by Tom Paxton
When [A]I was just a
[E]wee little lad my [A]Daddy
brought to [E]me
A [D]toy he made
down [A]at the lab; it [B7]filled
me full of [E]glee.
A [A]wonder to be-[E]hold
it was, with [A]many buttons [D]bright,
From the moment that I [A]turned
it on it [E]filled us all with [A]fright.
[chorus] It went [A]
“Zap” when it fired and [E]cursed when it
missed and [A]whirred as it took [D]aim,
It didn’t know if we were [A]friend
or foe but at-[E]tacked us just the [A]same.
Well [A]curiosity [E]killed
the cat, and the [A]dog was next to [E]go.
The [D]parrakeet
beat a [A]fast retreat as the [B7]wall
began to [E]glow.
The [A]turret
turned, some [E]bullets fired, and the [A]TV
was no [D]more,
My friends you should have [A]seen
it as the [E]napalm hit the [A]floor.
It [A]broke each
window [E]down the hall, and [A]then
I heard it [E]laugh,
I [D]must admit I [A]chuckled
when it [B7]cut my brother in [E]half.
My [A]sister made it
[E]to the stairs when it [A]caught
her in the [D]pants,
My Daddy had the [A]shotgun
out but he [E]didn’t stand a [A]chance.
It [A]lobbed two
mortars [E]at the wall and [A]when
the smoke had [E]cleared,
I [D]looked around
for my [A]murderous toy but [B7]it
had disap- [E]peared.
Then I [A]saw it
leave through [E]watery eyes, the [A]tear
gas smelled so [D]sweet,
Things weren’t too good for the [A]neighbourhood
as it [E]ambled down the [A]street.
Well [A]that’s the
last that I [E]ever saw of my [A]murderous
little [E]toy,
It [D]might be dead
but I [A]hope it’s not ‘cause it [B7]filled
me full of [E]joy.
They [A]say it
reached the [E]Bering Strait and [A]crossed
the icy [D]floes.
The Russian army ain’t [A]killed
it yet but it [E]keeps them on their [A]toes.
Oh the [A]years have
gone too [E]quickly now; I [A]have
my own little [E]boy.
And [D]just last
night I [A]told him about my [B7]murderous
little [E]toy.
I [A]recognised his
[E]crafty look; I could [A]almost
read his [D]mind,
My son has grown up [A]like
his dad and [E]wants one just like [A]mine.
[chorus] It went [A]
“Zap” when it fired and [E]cursed when it
missed and [A]whirred as it took [D]aim,
It didn’t know if we were [A]friend
or foe but at-[E]tacked us just the [A]same.